Quick answer
To play this or that as a couple online, pick a deck (classic, date night, flirty, deep, long distance or food), tap one side of each of the 12 pairs and create your link. Send it to your partner: they pick their own answers to the same pairs without seeing yours, then get a match score and see every pair side by side. There are 90 pairs, all PG, and it is free with no sign-up.
How to play this or that with your partner
Not happy with a pair? Press “New pairs” for a fresh set from the same deck, or pick Mix for a few pairs from every deck. Nothing is saved until you create the link, so you can reshuffle as often as you like.
- Choose a deck that suits the moment. Classic is a gentle warm-up; Deep is for a slow evening; Long distance is written for couples who live apart.
- Tap one side of each pair. Go with your gut: the first answer is usually the honest one.
- Add your name if you like, so your partner knows whose answers they are matching.
- Press “Create my link to compare” and send the link by text, chat or email.
- Your partner picks their own side on the same 12 pairs. When they finish, they see a match percentage and outlines showing your picks.
The six decks and what they are for
Every deck has 15 pairs, and each round uses 12 of them at random, so two rounds from the same deck still feel different. Here is what to expect, with a real pair from each.
| Deck | Best for | Example pair |
|---|---|---|
| Classic | A first round, or a new relationship | Morning person or night owl |
| Date night | Planning your next evening out (or in) | Dinner out or cook at home |
| Flirty | A cute round that stays PG | Forehead kisses or hand kisses |
| Deep | Big conversations about the future | Live abroad or stay near family |
| Long distance | Couples in different cities | Texts all day or one long call at night |
| Food | Settling important debates | Pineapple on pizza: yes or no |
The Deep deck can open up subjects you have not talked about before, such as where you might live or how you handle money. Save it for a time when you can both follow up properly.
Turn your answers into a conversation
The score is the fun part, but the differences are the good part. A pair you disagreed on is a ready-made question: why mountains and not the beach? What makes texting all day feel better than one long call? Those little explanations are how couples get to know the version of each other that does not come up on a normal day.
A simple rule works well: for every pair you disagreed on, the person who picked the less popular side gets 30 seconds to make their case. Then swap. It keeps things light and gives the quieter partner the floor.
- Ask “what would change your mind?” rather than “why would you pick that?”. It sounds curious instead of judgemental.
- Note the surprises. If you thought you knew an answer and were wrong, that is worth a follow-up question.
- Swap roles. After your partner matches your answers, have them make a round for you.
- Keep a favourite. Save the image of your best round and compare it with one from a few months later.
This or that for long-distance couples
When you live apart, quick games are a lifeline. They give a call a shape, and they work just as well by text across time zones. One of you makes a round during a lunch break, the other answers when they wake up, and the conversation carries on through the day.
The Long distance deck is written for this. Pairs such as “Visit their city or they visit mine”, “Short visits often or long visits rarely” and “Meet halfway or meet at home” double as gentle planning questions. If you find you both want to meet in the middle, the halfway point calculator shows the fairest cities between you.
As a call opener
Make a round each before your call and compare results live. It beats “so, how was your day?” for the third night running.
As a text game
Send one pair at a time in your chat and wait for the reply. It stretches a round over a whole day when your schedules barely overlap.
As part of a game night
Pair this or that with our long-distance relationship activities for a full evening together on a screen.
Build a couples game night around it
This or that is a perfect warm-up because it is quick and nobody can get an answer wrong. Follow it with something that digs a little deeper. The couples quiz tests how well you predict each other, never have I ever brings out stories, and the random question generator works as a slower wind-down.
Want something to talk about once the games are done? Our list of questions for long-distance couples has plenty of prompts that work in person too.
Example
A 40-minute game night
- 10 min: a this or that round each, then compare
- 15 min: never have I ever, Sweet deck
- 10 min: swap couples quizzes
- 5 min: one deep question each to finish
Q & A
Frequently asked questions
What are good this or that questions for couples?
The best ones are quick to answer but spark a follow-up, such as “Plan everything or go with the flow”, “Talk it out now or sleep on it” and “Short visits often or long visits rarely”. The tool has 90 of them in six decks.
Is this this or that game free?
Yes. It is free in your browser, with no sign-up and no app to install.
Can my partner see my answers before they pick?
No. The compare page keeps your picks hidden until they have answered every pair. Then your picks are outlined next to theirs.
Are the flirty this or that questions clean?
Yes. Every pair is PG, including the Flirty deck, which sticks to cute choices like hugs, pet names and love notes.
Can we play this or that over text?
Yes. Send the compare link in your chat, or send one pair at a time and reply when you can. It works well across time zones.
What does the match score mean?
It is simply the share of pairs where you picked the same side. It is a conversation starter, not a compatibility test, and the differences are often the most fun to talk about.
Does Lovelle save what I type?
No. The tool runs in your browser and nothing you type is sent to or stored on Lovelle's servers. When you share, your choices travel inside the link after the # sign, which browsers do not send to websites. That part is not encrypted, so anyone with the link can read it. Share it only with the person it is meant for.
Keep reading
Just for fun: a match score says nothing about compatibility. Your picks are stored in the link, not on our servers. Last updated 24 October 2026.